The forgotten victims of prostitution

Discovering that your partner has been visiting bordellos is perhaps no less painful than finding out he has been having an affair, but it is quite a different matter to comprehend.

Society is used to infidelity to the point where it is often romanticised - think Madame Bovary, Doctor Zhivago and Anna Karenina. However, these and other famous fictional affairs involve various degrees of passion and love.

For a woman in a seemingly intimate, caring and sexually satisfying relationship, the discovery that her partner has a double life which involves sex as a commercial transaction can come as a major shock. Indeed, according to McCann, in many cases, both partners report that they shared a “great” sex life.

McCann says that if a woman discovers her partner has been involved in this type of behaviour, she should confront him about it (so long as she is at no risk of violence) because otherwise it will eat away at her. If there is still hope for the relationship, he recommends professional couples counselling to re-establish the rules. Otherwise, the woman may need to seek help individually.

Men who use prostitutes, and whose partners are still in the dark, should make an appointment with a sex therapist, to work on enhancing their relationship and dealing with their problem.

“And it is a sexual problem,” McCann says.

So next time a former call girl publishes her diaries or a high profile figure gets caught in bed with an escort (and there will be a next time), spare a thought for the many women whose hearts have been broken and lives changed forever as a result.