Wendy’s well-disciplined whimsies

Greetings, gorgeous ones.

Lola and I are so sympatico. We’re both brunettes, we love having our hair done, Italian food and painting our toenails. And the fact that she’s a poodle and I’m not doesn’t worry me in the least. But I think it worries her.

Lola is so protective of me. She worries that I’ll hear what the red setter boys say about me. They’re a mean bunch. Their "no tail" jokes are very hurtful. And the leader of the pack, Big Bad Icky Snoop Doggy Dog Seriously Ugly Rapmyass Red, is the worst. He’s the nastiest kind of mutha - long red hair, Pal-fuelled muscles, a bad attitude and the brain of Benny Hill.

I think it’s because of his real name. I mean, if your parents gave you a name like Dwayne Umberto Derrick III (or dud for short), wouldn’t you have something to prove?

I talked to Lola about my theory and guess what? Those precious painted poodle nails of hers had already left-clicked on: http://inch.stormpages.com/index.html. The Institute for Naming Children Humanely offers very sound advice. Trust me, if your family name is Head, please don’t call your boy child Richard.

My inner nanna is just itching for some idiot to call their child Ukulele in the mistaken belief that it’s Hawaiian for "heavenly". It’s actually Tongan for "annoying twerp".

Lola agrees with Daniel Goleman that kids need to develop their EQ as much as their IQ. And I agreed once she explained that Dan’s theory of Emotional Intelligence is all about developing people smarts (Lola calls it social intelligence). Why not wander over to: www.eiconsortium.org/goleman.htm for a quick squiz? They have fab links to other related sites and you can even test your own EQ. Lola caught me cheating (I hate it when she does that) so I had to tell the truth about my poor impulse control.

Then she read me these words from Aristotle: "Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person to the right degree and the right time for the right purpose and in the right way – this is not easy."

Neat, huh?

I immediately put down the club I was planning to use on Dwayne’s skull and had a read instead.

So, if you’re about to club your kids, why not distract them instead? Lola couldn’t get me off the opening page - great graphics (you can do it sans Flash if you like, but the electrical effect is well, electric). Just zap on www.generate.qld.gov.au and the kids can explore fun and serious stuff like caring for their body and their head. I liked it because it doesn’t patronise and it’s pretty groovy.

BTW, could somebody please tell the government that they shouldn’t try to force the groove - I think the last time I saw "links" spelled "linkz" was in the 80’s. It’s so not now. But I think your kids will still give it a phat rating. Don’t ask.