Cancer: coping with a loved one's illness and subsequent death

So what are the lessons learnt from this experience?

First of all, the death of a close family member reminds us of our own mortality. When we lose our parents it is a reminder that our generation has become next in line. The death of a spouse is an even stronger signal. Equally, while money can be important, at the end of life close relationships and friendships clearly matter more.

While there is probably no substitute for prior experience in planning for death and its aftermath, there are things we can all do. Making a will is an obvious priority. A very useful addition is to attach a comprehensive set of key information for the incoming executor and surviving family members. This might include a comprehensive list of assets, liabilities, and regular payments. Details of bankers (and all accounts), key contacts (eg superannuation funds, property agents, stockbroker) and other important matters should be listed. Anything considered confidential could be contained in a sealed envelope to be confidential until after death.

Legal advice is desirable when making a will, and can reduce the burden in finalising an estate. Lawyers commonly discourage DIY probate, though this can save the estate a lot in legal fees. My view is that doing things yourself is ok provided there are no significant legal complications, and the executor is competent in administrative matters.