Women see red on White Ribbon Day

They have asked “mental health professionals” to write a lengthy “expert” defence of the ads, which currently appears on the home page of the WRD website. There is also a prominent link to Saatchi and Saatchi’s “explanation” of the meaning and purpose of the ads.

But if the ads have to be “explained”, then they are not effective. Rather than listening to the real “experts” - women who have themselves suffered male violence and women who are working with them and with a range of governmental and non-governmental organisations to end it - the WRD group have chosen self-justification.

Yet, UNIFEM and the WRD group have relied heavily on women's organisations to support WRD. Even though in some parts of Australia, men are actively and constructively involved in promoting the campaign, in many others, it is an event that has been largely supported and driven by women's services and networks such as local domestic violence committees, membership of which is predominantly female.

Betty Green, long time worker in this area in New South Wales, who this year received an Edna Ryan award for community activism, has commented that in her recollection, “no men's service in the community nor men's group in NSW has ever taken responsibility in organising or promoting White Ribbon Day”.

The ads, then, are merely a symptom of a wider problem with men’s active involvement in their own campaign. When men wear a White Ribbon it is not merely a silent statement but must be an acceptance of responsibility and commitment to address that which continues to afflict a significant proportion of women in our community.

It should be a time where each man considers his own behaviours, attitudes, beliefs and values he holds towards the women in his life and his community.

If men are serious about eliminating violence against women, they must act upon this conviction, whether in the criminal justice and family law systems, the workplace, the media or down the pub with the mates.

Indeed, a much better ad for this year’s WRD campaign might have been the re-enactment of the following true story: in a visit to the country town where he had grown up, a young man - let’s call him Col - was invited for a drink at the local by former school mates, who had become known wife-batterers. Col’s response: “I don’t want to drink with blokes who beat up their wives; in fact, I don’t even want to be in the same pub” - and he and his friends walked out.

Most importantly, they must listen to the experts: women with experience of the multiple layers of damage done by male violence in women’s and children’s lives and with knowledge of what is needed to stop it.

As women, we already have more work than we can cope with, simply trying to repair or minimise the effects of the damage. It makes our job harder, not easier, when men who claim to support us ignore our feedback and leave us to do the groundwork on “their” campaign. Until all men involved with initiatives such as WRD are truly prepared to “walk” their talk - as Col did, for example - men will, literally, keep getting away with murder.