The wonderful world of genetic Whimsies

Greetings, gorgeous ones.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m not as bright as I could be but I blame my genes.

For instance:

Until Lola set me straight, I thought that the biggest show on earth (DNA-wise) this century was about gnomes. I mean, I love the little fellas in among the greenery, but why map their DNA? Lola, bless her little poodle painted toenails, pointed out that I’d mislaid an "e". Ooooh, it’s genomes!

And then Lola left-clicked on:

www.ornl.gov/TechResources/Human_Genome/home.html and before I knew it we were visiting a terrific US site on the Human Genome Project. They have a huge library and Lola was particularly interested in the section about ethical, legal and social issues. She downloaded an article about "the psychological impact and stigmatisation due to an individual’s genetic differences" and then gave me a withering look. I hate it when she does that.

I attempted to wrestle the mouse from her paw and restore control to the human part of the equation. I won (but Lola cheats something shocking).

In the melee, we found a pretty neat link to the future, courtesy of Gipson Arnold (who on earth invents these names?). If you want to visit tomorrow today, whoosh on over and learn about transhumanism and life extension, or even about artificial intelligence. What about nanotechnology? Simply nano nano click on: www.members.tripod.com/~garnold/futrlnk.html .

I was more interested in robotics and I discovered Valerie, a Domestic Android. I always like to check out the competition. Just visit Android World at www.androidworld.com and check out Valerie for yourself. She’s pretty cute for a droid but I ask you - can her fuzzy logic compete with mine?

By this time I needed a coffee. Lola likes a latte and a look around and so do I. So we did, and discussed some deep philosophical issues. Like cloning.

Believe it or not, a group in California wants to clone Jesus. The Second Coming Project intends to use modern cloning technology to create a second Jesus. They must have a fertilised Jesus zygote by April 2001 to make their December 25 deadline for 2001. Oh, and I think they want money too.

You really must see www.clonejesus.com for yourself. And for an extra hoot, just wander over to www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=9795 for a terrific review by Robert Masterson.

BTW, Lola thinks it’s pretty suss, and that they’re going to end up with a Derek rather than a Jesus. Maybe Derek and Valerie the Domestic Android could get together. A match made in, um …?

I badly needed a reality check after that site, so I wandered over to the Leakey Foundation at www.leakeyfoundation.org for an anthropological fix. Did you know that the ability to share meat led to the expansion of the human brain? Well, that’s what Craig Stanford reckons anyway. Lola agreed (she’s got this complicated theory about the size of my brain and my inability to share) and you can read it at www.leakeyfoundation.org/n9_spr2000_4.htm and decide for yourself.

And when I thought of Louis Leakey, I thought of his wonderful students, including Jane Goodall. Why not swing over to www.janegoodall.org and check out all the good stuff on chimpanzees. After all, we primates have to stick together. But whatever you do, don’t blame me if you go to the "Roots and Shoots" section.

After all the homework for this month’s edition, I came to the conclusion that the gene pool can be a very icky thing.

I also believe that Lola needs a pet. She needs to learn responsibility and to develop the self-discipline that comes from caring for someone from a different gene pool.

So, later that night I was reading and came upon a new word.

"Anthropomorphism." "What’s that?" I asked Lola.

"Not sure", she said, "but I think it’s got something to do with attributing human characteristics to animals".

"But not poodles."

Until next time, dear reader.

"Why don’t you write books people can read?" Nora Joyce to her husband, James