Prescription for pain, angst and 'silly old buggers'

But then back home I received another text telling me to make a booking with my GP for an annual prostate antigen (PSA) test which caused some angst and a verbal arm wrestle with a pathology lab technician this time last year.

The rules had just been changed and I wrote about it in an article titled "Medibank Messing with Movember".

This was part of the exchange:

"Read this, the Medicare rules have changed from November 1, and you might now have to pay for your blood test, which was previously free…that's what the delay was as I tried to explain it to the previous patient, but in the end, he refused to have it."

"Well I can understand that. The government claims it's reducing the cost of medical care but in the past few weeks I've had to consult an eye surgeon, a cardiologist and a skin specialist which has cost me an arm and a leg and now you tell me I might be charged for this blood test!"

She gives me another sceptical look, noting that no limbs are missing as she replies, "Yes, it's complicated … read the paper and fill in the questions."

These related to whether I or any close blood relatives had ever had prostate cancer or a range of other conditions aligned with this frequently problematic male organ. I tick a couple and place crosses besides others. .. She casts an eye over it and says, "Well that might qualify you for a free test but I can't say for sure."

"Will my doctor know when I go for the test results?"

"No, he won't know and you won't know until when, or if, you receive an invoice on your mobile phone."

Great! Maybe there will be another giant Optus stuff-up and it will be lost somewhere in the cyber-world.

Anyway, she painlessly draws enough blood to provide Dracula with a pre-dinner drop of his favourite O - red, I bid her goodbye and she looks relieved to see her next patient is a young woman. But as more men arrive, I think she'll be in for a long day…

I must have qualified, the bill never arrived, my PSA level was ok, but will I be thrice lucky?