Medicare messing with Movember

He waves me in and I wait nervously as he checks his screen and gives me a half smile as he pronounces that all my blood levels are within acceptable parameters but there was one "abnormality" highlighted in red.

Gulp! I'm waiting to hear the worst, but, "Your PSA levels are the lowest they've been in the past three years."

I tell him maybe that's because I've been taking some expensive medication I bought online containing an extract of a special Japanese kelp and other goodies which the manufacturers claim helps male astronauts pee in space even if they're floating upside down..

He raises an eyebrow: "Well at least it's not poisoning you".

"Do you know if I'll be charged for the blood test?"

"Well, that's complicated now…"

Judge that for yourself, but one thing seems certain, it won't encourage more men to get their prostate checked regularly, as we are constantly urged in TV ads.

But before I leave, I ask him whether he has received another specialist report relating to my wife and whether she should make a follow-up appointment.

He says he's not too concerned now about the ethics of having a quick look to see if it's there and he pulls up her chart. Yep no problem, she could come in to discuss it when convenient.

We chat for a couple of minutes, he starts typing on his computer before he suddenly exclaims, "Oh Hell this is bad!!"

"What is??"

"I've just entered all your details on your wife's chart!!"