'Hey, I'm going to be a dad!'

George*, the father of two boys, said

The hardest bit is being responsible for another person. You lose all your freedom, you've got to be focused on them all the time. But the best part is having your own little family- knowing they are your own flesh and blood. And when they smile and say "Daddy", it makes it all worth it.

Diversity

Dads probably always have been diverse; they are becoming more so. Teachers have become used to a kid saying "I've got two dads" (or mums). The singer Ricky Martin is just one well-known example of a gay dad. My GP says that among his clientele, gay fathering has become a noticeable trend.

A man with a child in tow may not be the biological father. Split families, gay couples, and mixed-race couples with children are common in most of our cities and towns.

Challenges

Some dads might be feeling a bit helpless and useless around a newborn, as my discussions with young fathers show.

"It was scary- I just wanted to get away and get to the pub", Kevin* said.

But – as we will see -in an age of more fluid gender roles, the challenges of fatherhood are being met in part by more positive messages to dads. And more determination from young dads.

Why is fathering important?

Australian men say they must be strong, never admit weakness, not express emotion except in sport or in the privacy of the bedroom, and be endlessly interested in sex. And be wary of anything soft or girly.

Fatherhood takes men into a domain of nurturing previously fairly foreign to them. Men who are connected with partners and children can survive and adapt to all the challenges that life offers better than men alone can. Young dads I speak to say bluntly that their children have made them better men and given them useful insights about themselves.