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The Four Musketeers: Khamenei, Netanyahu, Putin and Erdogan

By Alon Ben-Meir - posted Wednesday, 26 November 2014


Ali: Tayyip is right, look at the terrible things that you have done, Vladimir. First you annex Crimea, then you send troops and weapons to east Ukraine, hundreds are killed, and you still pretend that you don't want to annex the rest of the country.

Vladimir: What's this got to do with being ruthless? We offer the Ukrainians gas and money, but they did not listen. They want to join the West, they are crazy. In any case, Ukraine belongs to Russia and that's that. Who's going to stop me, Obama? I am not like Bibi, who wants to annex all of the West Bank and chase the Palestinians out—that's really ruthless.

Bibi: Look, Obama can't stop me either, he is still busy thinking about what to do, he will never put his foot down, and I know it. But leave Obama aside. Are you telling me, Vlad, that I want to annex Samaria and Judea? How can I annex territory that belongs to the Jewish people? I resent those who call Israel an occupying power.

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Tayyip: Don't be ridiculous Bibi; you occupy land that does not belong to you and on top of that, you created the largest open prison in Gaza. Unfortunately, Obama has no clue what to do. See, I am a liberator; I have been fighting to liberate the poor Palestinian people in Gaza, but you and your American friends, forget it; you are heartless, all of you.

Bibi: First of all, Tayyip, it is none of your business what we do with the Palestinians, especially Hamas; we have major security problems. Tell me, what would you do if thousands of rockets were fired indiscriminately on your cities and people, just say, ‘hey guys, please stop it'?

Tayyip: You know Bibi, if you end the blockade, Hamas will not fire a single rocket.

Bibi: Baloney! I trust Hamas as much as I trust you, Mr. Recep Tayyip Erdogan; you are all one and the same, no difference. You just hate us, period.

Ali: I know what you mean, Bibi, you think we Muslims hate the Jews. No, I hate the Israelis but love the Jews.

Bibi: So what you are saying is that Israelis are not Jews? Now I see, you love Muslims but you hate the Sunnis, isn't that so?

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Ali: Don't change the subject, we Shiites are the true Muslims; the Sunnis are even worse than you Israelis.

Tayyip: Don't say that, Ali. You know, you are really something else. I always suspected how much venom you have against us Sunnis - now I know. You should be ashamed of yourself. The Sunnis don't hate the Shiites, we just don't trust them; you are always conspiring against us.

Vladimir: Will you stop bickering about Sunni this, Shiite that. This is all rubbish. We in Russia are very lucky, we don't have this kind of problem because we don't believe in anything. Forget religion, only troubles come out from religion. For us, only money talks.

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About the Author

Dr. Alon Ben-Meir is a professor of international relations at the Center for Global Affairs at NYU. He teaches courses on international negotiation and Middle Eastern studies.

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