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The Four Musketeers: Khamenei, Netanyahu, Putin and Erdogan

By Alon Ben-Meir - posted Wednesday, 26 November 2014


Vladimir: Nonsense, when were you last in Moscow? Do you know how much Moscow has to offer? Look, in any case we will veto any resolution to relocate the UN unless it is Moscow.

Bibi: Listen, the UN is not going anywhere. But let me go back to you, Ali. Tell me, Ali, what did you mean when you said we have so much in common? God forbid we should have something in common.

Ali: Come on now, don't invoke God's name in vain. Don't you think we are all hungry for more power? Don't we all want control of our neighbors? And tell me, how about the so-called ‘violation of human rights'? We all thrive on that, don't we?

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Tayyip: Wait a minute Ali, speak for yourself. We don't do such things in our country. Turkey is a model of Islamic democracy in all aspects; everybody is free and happy in my country.

Bibi: Oh yes, tell me more. Nobody abuses his people more than you do - well, maybe Ali.

Ali: Bibi, now you're going too far. I am a pious man! I treat every one of my subjects with dignity.

Bibi: Yeah, you're right Ali, the poor Iranian people are your subjects alright, and you know very well how to subjugate them. Another thing, I know you want to have a nuclear weapon to blow us all out.

Ali: Yeah, we want a nuclear weapon just to scare everybody, especially those Sunnis around us. We don't want to blow you out, because if we try, you have plenty of nuclear weapons to kill tens of millions of Iranians. Well, they will all become martyrs, which is fine, but the real problem is that we don't know if the Islamic Republic of Iran can survive, and for me, this is more important than anything else.

Bibi: Do you really think I believe you? Don't think for a moment that we will let you have these kinds of weapons; we know what to do.

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Ali: You don't know how clever we are, we know how to hide things, we have done that for many years and we will surprise you yet. Why do you think we did not make any real concessions and agreed only this week on another extension? We know how to outsmart these gullible Americans.

Vladimir: Look guys, what are you all talking about? Human rights abuses, nuclear weapons, what else is new? Let's talk about the real things - gas, oil, business, and money - that's what really matters. We in Russia calm things down or buy people out with money. If money does not work, which is seldom in Russia, we flex our muscles. That's why we don't worry about human rights.

Tayyip: You must be kidding, Vlad. You're trying to calm thing down, my foot; you are a ruthless man, even worse than Bibi.

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About the Author

Dr. Alon Ben-Meir is a professor of international relations at the Center for Global Affairs at NYU. He teaches courses on international negotiation and Middle Eastern studies.

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