Dirk Flinthart's (not at all) disillusioned Whimsies

Still, in the end, you simply have to stand back and admire a real master. What can you say about Little Johnny Eyebrows? This is the man whose performance drove the Americans to elect Dubya, in the desperate hope of closing the burgeoning Comedy Gap. Against our Johnny, even the sidesplitting performance of the Royal Family has paled, leading the British to raise the strongest vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party in a generation. He is a marvel, a wonder, a non-pareil with an embarrassing comb-over and eyebrows inherited from Bob Menzies. No mere website can do him sufficient justice, so I leave you with this piece of probing journalism:

Why did the chicken cross the road, Mister Howard?

John Howard: ''The chicken never ever crossed the road. And it was not forcibly removed from its mother. Anyway, that's a matter for the states and is of no interest to us. The United Nations should mind its own business.''

Just imagine how funny he'd be if he still had all of his eyebrows!