Families and Work. Well, that’s a nice
change. Funny stuff is likely to abound. What about the old ‘Family
Circus’ cartoons, eh?
Strewth, now THERE'S a shining wit. Oh, I can’t remember the number
of times I’ve been laid out on the ground, too hysterical to move, by
the cutting-edge antics of Billy, Dolly, Jeffy, Dumpy, Frumpy, Lumpy,
Stinky, Freaky... wait, I'm getting into the Seven Dwarfs here, aren’t
I? Never mind. They’re almost as funny.
Wanna see an updated version of the ultimate cutesie-poo newspaper
family? Of course you do. Try this:
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http://www.etext.org/Zines/UnitCircle/art/dfc.html
Or this:
http://new.metronet.com/~intell/ed/dfc/
..and then mourn with the rest of us who actually have a sense of
humour:
http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,21853,00.html
Of course, the Dysfunctional Family Circus Method is pretty simple
and obvious. Nothing to stop you doing it yourself and sharing it with
friends, is there? Enjoy!
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The trouble with family as a topic is that too many people think it’s
funny. And it is, for sure. But most people wouldn’t know
"funny" from "rampant yeast infection". Try plugging
"family humor" into a good search engine some time. If your
computer doesn’t leap off the desk and rip your brain out through your
eyesockets, you may wind up being unfortunate enough to trawl through a
host of sites ranging from the exquisitely painful
http://www.thatsembarrassing.com/family.php
to the utterly incomprehensible:
http://www.seleda.com/may02/top10.shtml
Thing is, everybody thinks their family is funny. Even you. Go on.
Admit it. And they are, too - except not for the reasons you think. That
story you always like to tell: about the way your grand-uncle Alphonse
accidentally swallowed his false teeth and told the doctor he was
worried that he’d bite himself on the bum... it’s not bloody funny.
The reason people laugh when you tell it is that you always screw it up
by laughing at your own joke until whatever you’re drinking comes
rushing out your nose, and you stagger about clutching your throat and
screaming about your burning sinuses.
See, that’s metahumour. I’m laughing at the way you laugh. What
you’re laughing about isn’t funny, but the goofy way you look when
you laugh - that’s funny. And if you can grasp metahumour, suddenly a
lot of otherwise dull Internet sites become funny in a black and
depressing kind of way. Take this site, for example:
http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm00/ac02.html
If it doesn’t bring a blackhearted rictus to your lips, then you
probably DESERVE to go to a course like that.
Oh, the humanity. Forgive me my cultural cynicism... but the concept
behind this site is so staggeringly American, so appallingly Family
Circus that it makes my blood run cold. "Honor the child within
you". Errgh.
How did the child get in there? Why hasn’t somebody called a
paramedic? And what about: "Surround yourself and your family with
happy people..." Doesn’t that sound unnervingly like a McDonald’s
advertisement? Who are these people? Where do they get these atrociously
banal ideas?
Right. Sorry. Just got carried away for a moment there. But oh, Lord;
that bit about "everybody invent a funny bumper sticker for your
family" nearly killed me. That’s put me right off. How am I
going to go on with this article now? I know! I’ll tell you a funny
story about my two-year-old son. Yeah, that’s the way to go... geez,
two-year-olds are funny, eh? You ask him to show you his nose, right?
Then (get this) he sticks his finger up his nostril, see? Then he says
"nose", but because his finger is halfway to his brain he says
it in this sort of whining Elmer Fudd voice, and - oh, I think I
just snorted my Tequila into my sinuses, Jesus Christ that hurts! Help!
Somebody call a paramedic - oh, Christ, my brain!
Editor’s Note: Mister Flinthart has been given leave of absence due
to his precarious mental state. In lieu of further rantings on the topic
of work and humour, we wish to direct you to the following link, which
will take you to the official Dilbert website:
http://www.dilbert.com/.