Fight, flight, freeze

Confronted by the monstrous evil of spiritual betrayal and sexual crimes by a priest, how is the child to cope?

Their responses revert to the primitive survival instincts: fight, flight or freeze.

Since offenders are physically much bigger and stronger than their little victims, fight is not an option.

Since the offenders in effect have the child captive - in a boarding school - flight is also not an option.

Only the last option, of “freeze” is viable.

Just like a rabbit or a kangaroo caught in the headlights of a car, the child freezes in shock and terror, hoping the aggressor will leave them alone. In this overwhelming situation, the child often “dissociates”, that is, their mind leaves their body and in effect “watches” what is happening, unable to escape.

In later years, victims often are tied to silence because they think they “failed” to fight or escape.

Even worse, their body may have responded to unwanted sexual stimulation. Victims perceive their automatic biological responses as a betrayal of their inner selves by their own body. It is this perception of betrayal which can lead to self-harm - the desire to punish, hurt or even destroy the body which they think betrayed them.

It is often not until victims reach the age of about 40 that they are at last able to assimilate the confusion, horror and evil to which they were subjected so long before and to understand that what happened was not their fault.

A hallmark of the most prolific offenders is scape-goating - convincing the victims that they are the ones at fault.

Thus reporting crimes committed against them by recognised and trusted spiritual leaders in the community takes enormous courage and determination.

The boys of St Stanislaus will need all the understanding, help and practical support their families and friends can offer in the years ahead.