The day native title ate Perth

Yes, I know the title needs a bit of work, but you must have noticed by now that imagination isn’t our man’s strongest suit.

The basic plot is that “Aborigines with native title rights” exclude others from visiting the beach. In fact, Ruddock’s scare-mongering is likely to land him in boiling water.

The possibility of native title holders being granted exclusive possession of a metropolitan beach anywhere in the country is more remote than Pluto.

It’s more likely that the beachgoers of Perth will be denied their swim by aggressive, heavily-armed quokkas demanding that sun-worshippers sign loyalty pledges endorsing Aussie Values.

We had an earlier entry from a chap writing under the unfortunate pen name of “Blathering Beazer”. I won’t weigh you down with the details, suffice to say that his turgid prose reminded me of the way the Leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition communicates.

Any interest in what the bloke is actually saying is quickly replaced by a morbid curiosity about whether he can successfully negotiate his way to the end of a sentence. What a shame Beazley couldn’t rise above his full-stop phobia and say simply that the Perth decision was just.

ALP National President Warren Mundine wasn’t in the mood for fence-sitting. He described Beazley’s analysis of the decision as “bullshit”. As CEO of New South Wales Native Title Services, Mundine carries both clout and expertise in native title matters.

The Noongar mob are to be congratulated on this great symbolic victory. But I fear that what awaits them is two further years of expensive, protracted court cases. And mean-spirited, dissembling politicians who do their nation a disservice.