Wendy's wonderful world of IT whimsies

SO, why does your computer choose exactly the wrong moment to crash?

Tired of doing inane little rituals to ensure that, for a while at least, your computer does what you tell it to do? This link is courtesy of the nice people at crikey dot com: www.subvertise.org/technology/stec0004m.html and don’t tell anyone - it’s a secret!

And speaking of Big Brother, the people at Privacy International have introduced the delightfully named Big Brother Awards. Shame they don’t have any Australian nominations, but I’m sure that will change. You can check them out at www.privacyinternational.org or go straight to the awards (I like the UK one) at www.privacy.org/pi/bigbrother/uk99.

This little gem arrived on my desk recently. Origin unknown, so I can’t give credit where credit is due. If only our IT people had such soul!

"In Japan, Sony Vaio Computers have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own haiku poetry, each with only 17 syllables:

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

And if all else fails, why not go fishing instead? At this site, you can find out more about north Queensland, its fishing and its tourism. You can enter your email address to receive one of their monthly newsletters and they even have a privacy policy! Just click on www.fishingcairns.com.au/privacy.html.

Till next time.