Woke-ing up: how the UK and Australia are grappling with the new cultural alarm clock

The economics of being woke

The real horror of the "woke" movement is how it dares to link economic inequality with social justice. In the UK, talking about class is as taboo as putting milk in the teapot, but the woke crowd insists on dragging it into the open. Meanwhile, in Australia, the idea that economic opportunity should be available to everyone, including Indigenous and migrant communities, has been met with a collective "let's think about it over a flat white."

Political and media dynamics

Politicians in both countries are doing their best to keep things nice and un-woke. In the UK, the Conservatives have taken a firm stand against change, while Labour quietly wonders if it's okay to agree. In Australia, the Liberal Party continues to focus on being unburdened by too much empathy, while the Labor and Greens parties occasionally remember to challenge the status quo.

As for the media, they've embraced their role as the chief purveyors of the culture war. Social media amplifies every outrage, making molehills out of mountains and ensuring that no tweet is left unargued. Meanwhile, traditional media continues to report on the death of civilization every time a statue is moved or a public figure makes a thoughtful comment.

Generational face-off

Generationally, the divide is clear. Millennials and Gen Z are all for "wokeness," seeing it as necessary for survival - much like avocado toast. Baby boomers, on the other hand, prefer their breakfast and their social change light and easy to digest. It's a clash as old as time: youthful idealism vs. the comfort of pretending everything is fine.

The outraged traditionalist vs. the overzealous activist

Let's introduce two quintessential characters to our saga: the Outraged Traditionalist and the Overzealous Activist.

The Outraged Traditionalist is someone who yearns for the days when you could make a sexist joke without anyone batting an eyelid. They long for a world where "men were men" and "woke" was just a word you'd use to describe getting up for work.

On the other side, we have the Overzealous Activist, the epitome of the woke warrior. They won't rest until every street is renamed after an underrepresented historical figure and they spend their days advocating for causes like "Equali-Ball," a new sport where everyone wins just for participating, and the "People's Performance Place," a reimagined Sydney Opera House where all shows are free and inclusive.

Woke marketing and fashion trends