Don't mention the war!

But she's still taking them on, planning to speak out in the Senate when the new act is debated, pointing out that the proposed legislation contravenes the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which Australia signed and ratified in 1990, which says "a child should have the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents." And she'll provide evidence challenging the notion children are only safe from violence in the care of their mothers, highlighting recent high-profile cases in Australia showing this isn't the case. Jo Thomson-Jones' story featured on the Mothers of Sons website, is a tragic example. Her three-year-old granddaughter was killed by her violent mother.

In Professor Patrick Parkinson's submission regarding the proposed changes to the Act, he quoted AIFS study showing many more fathers than mothers were concerned for their children's safety in shared parenting arrangements. That's unsurprising given that stepfathers and mum's boyfriend pose by far the greatest risk of sexual abuse of children. And even though contested family court cases often feature child sexual abuse accusations against the father, judges have determined that only 12% of these allegations are true.

I spoke recently to a Canberra man who after years of battling won substantial care of his toddler son. His wife had left, removing their baby son from their home and then managed to get a violence protection order after claiming she was afraid that leaving him might have made him angry! She originally offered him one day a fortnight supervised contact with the child. He spent an absolute fortune on legal help, including $25,000 for a child expert assessment, and after a long, patient battle miraculously achieved 40% care of his two-year old. His lawyer told me that if this new act becomes law, chances are slim that this could happen again. No wonder this dad spent weeks writing to members of parliament, trying unsuccessfully to meet with them to explain what's really going on.

I spent time in Canberra a few weeks ago talking to Senators about this impending disaster. What was tragic is most said they had barely heard from anyone opposing the new bills. I'd like to think that some of the maverick Senators, like Alex Antic and Gerard Rennick and Matt Canavan who've been so brave on other issues, will take this one on.

But it's a big ask to mention the war and they need massive encouragement – please urgently write to them and to cross-benchers who might conceivably help. Chances are it won't stop this bill going through but we have to break down this shameful silencing of truth about this vital issue for families.