Keeping an eye on the Bank of Mum

Australians are living longer and living richer than at any time in our history. The Intergenerational Report predicts that 40,000 people will celebrate their 100th birthday in 2055. Some older women will enjoy their wealth – travelling the world, with their luggage broadcasting that they are 'spending their children's inheritance'. Others will live in an aged care facility while their children keep their eyes peeled on the 'Bank of Mum'.

State Trustees Victoria report 'For Love or Money: intergenerational management of older Victorians' assets' shows that women over the age of 80 are most at risk of financial elder abuse. This research found that adult sons are the most common perpetrators.

Financial elder abuse involves taking or misusing an older person's money, property or assets. Studies confirm that financial abuse is the fastest-growing type of abuse of older women. So much so that Senior Rights Victoria suggested the terms of reference for the Royal Commission into Family Violence should include elder abuse.

When a father dies, some adult children assume what was once 'Mum and Dad's money' is now their money, not their mothers'. They are not willing to wait for their inheritance until after their mothers die. Children with 'Early Inheritance Syndrome' feel a sense of entitlement to their mothers' assets.

These impatient children will actively seek ways for their mothers to 'gift' them money, or will interfere in the management of their parents' assets to protect what they see as their entitlement. They will keep a close eye on their mother's assets and curtail her expenses, such as money she spends on holidays and carers.

According to the Office of the Public Advocate, older women are also more likely to be declared legally incapable than older men. This may be due to the fact that women live longer than men. Some children assume that older women, particularly those who have not been the family's breadwinner, are unable to manage their own finances. After the father dies, they encourage their mother to appoint a financial power of attorney, often a son.

Children with 'Early Inheritance Syndrome' make assumptions that devalue the rights of older women.

1. "Mum doesn't need money, and it's going to be mine anyway."

In cases of financial elder abuse, this is the most common justification given for taking a mother's money whilst she is alive.

2. "Mum finds talking about her finances stressful."

Some children believe that their mother finds discussions about financial issues complex and stressful. This is not only patronising but it also disempowers older women to make choices about how their money is spent.

3. "Having a large amount of money doesnot improve Mum's quality of life.