Keeping an eye on the Bank of Mum

Most of us take comfort in the security of having savings in the bank. Why are older women different?

4. "Mum will be no worse off after gifting her money to her children".

This statement is absurd. By gifting money to their children, the children are better off at the expense of their mother. The less money an elderly woman has, the less money she will be able to spend on herself.

5. "Reducing Mum's income will reduce her fees at the aged care facility".

Lower fees at the aged care facility means more money for the beneficiaries of the will (i.e. the children). However, many older women may appreciate the care that they receive in an aged care facility, and are happy to pay higher fees for receiving good care.

6. "Reducing Mum's incomewill reduce the amount of tax she needs to pay"

Gifting money to children will result in Mum paying less tax. This may be a good thing for the children, but certainly not for society.

7. "Mum's current will cannot be changed".

Most people change their wills throughout their lives as their circumstances change. Why are older women different? Spending years in an aged care facility may change an older woman's ideas about how the money is distributed after she dies. She may prefer to give some money to Doctors without Borders, The Lost Dogs Home, or even a kind nurse at the aged care facility. This is her decision, not her children's.

8. "By gifting money to the children, this gift reduces their children's loans and interest payments on these loans."

Should middle-age professional people expect their elderly mother to assist them to manage their 'lifestyle choices'?

Financial elder abuse may begin with the best intentions - with an elderly woman asking a child to act as her financial power of attorney. This can quickly progress to a sense of entitlement, particularly when adult children have mortgages or debts.

There is little reliable data on the extent of financial elder abuse. It is often a silent crime – unreported and unacknowledged. Although the banking industry has introduced initiatives to help prevent this silent crime, financial elder abuse remains difficult to police.