Gay domestic violence: the hatred that dare not speak its name

So leaving an abusive partner is not always the solution.

Here in Australia too, I've observed the scars of victims of same-sex IPV and they look just as deep, just as confronting.

In one small but important study of 390 Victorian GLBT respondents, a significant minority claimed that they were abused by their partner.

Interestingly, lesbians were more likely than gay men to report such abuse (41% vs 29%).

Moreover, even when campaigning journalists recognise domestic violence in the "GLBT community", an abuse-excuse is often just around the corner.

As one tired argument goes: If only communities were more accepting, abuse victims would be more likely to seek help. Maybe in some cases. But given that GLBT IPV is so widespread in relatively "progressive" liberal nations that's not my central concern.

Moreover, journalists also have a duty to highlight GLBT suicides, but I believe it's inexcusable to downplay the many ways in which domestic violence can contribute to mental health issues and even GLBT deaths.

Indeed, violent homosexuals and marriage-centric activists in denial are very much part of the IPV problem, not the solution.

In another memorable Highsmith story, the novelist recommended suicide to hurting women. As one written response concerning her friend's suicidal roommate put it: "Let her jump!"

But don't expect our watchdog media to take up the cause. After all, physical and emotional female-on-female violence is problematic for campaigning journalists bent on portraying domestic violence as a symptom of patriarchy.

Even today, journalists aren't ready to acknowledge that the greatest threats facing GLBT folks aren't conservative commentators, religious leaders with politically-incorrect views on sexuality, or even Chick-fil-A family restaurant menus.

The real threats: domestic violence and community silence.

As Highsmith's psychological thrillers and chaotic life taught us, sometimes our greatest threats are living with us.