AIG job application

As you know, some of your mates in the recruitment industry have colluded with employers to ensure that only bubbly, young, dynamic and enthusiastic people get jobs. Older people need not apply. As I am young, bubbly and my Dad is on the board of BHP, I am a stand out candidate.

AIG's push for Queensland to privatise its electricity assets is marvelous. Even though I am a PR toady, I feel it is my duty to give you a fact, even though you may not like it. South Australia's power industry was privatized some years ago. A two-person household used to pay about $350 for a winter power bill. Using the same amount of power, we now pay $830.

I suggest we tell the media that this was due to the Carbon Tax rather than gold plating the infrastructure and greed.

I applaud AIG's roll out of the Government's national workforce literacy policy. The report, which consisted of more roundtables that Camelot, was a cracking 130 page read. I wonder why no Aboriginal employers were used. There's no shortage of them in SA, NT and Queensland you know.

Of course the loudest lamentation about the lack of literacy and numeracy is heard from school kids from SCEGGS or Wesley as they cruise home in Mum's SAAB. They are missing out on the ineffable pleasure of reading Judith Sloan in The Australian. We need to fix that.

I haven't heard AIG name and shame Australia's largest companies who are knee deep in anti-competitive behavior. We could start with a couple of banks that the Government propped up during the GFC - unless they're mates of yours.

I commend AIG on recognizing that we're knee deep in psychopaths in corporate Australia, who are terrorizing staff on a daily basis. Why is it that AIG never comes up with a proposal of its own on how to rid the workplace of these nutters rather than knocking back the Government's ideas? I'm happy to write you some motherhood statements.

I will ensure all of your prognostications and whining are plastered over every newspaper in the country. I will ensure every dodgy independent survey I commission totally undermines sensible debate on the Carbon Tax, IR and productivity.

I can start Sunday night.

Yours insecurely,

Malcolm King