Smoko: PMs present, past and perhaps

Malcolm Fraser's lasting achievement was precisely that he did nothing. His term seems to have been a post-Whitlam hangover. They do like Bob Hawke, particularly for reaching consensus with the unions. The first years of the Hawke government are well regarded, though "he lost the plot towards the end".

It is Hawke's successor, Paul Keating, who is the most controversial former PM. Our Aussie battlers are still divided over him. Some loved his invective in Parliament, while others just shudder with rage when they talk of "13 years of hard labour" and "Too busy sucking up to Asia too look after the economy".

So what of the future? The punters regard Peter Costello's ascension to The Lodge as a fait accompli, though it is not something that is particularly welcomed. It is largely assumed that a Republic may happen under him. The only other Liberal they say will achieve high office is Tony Abbott, who is regarded as an "immature prat". "Be all right if he stopped behaving like a schoolboy". Phillip Ruddock is popular, but considered too old. Alexander Downer has not been forgiven for his fishnet stockings, or "The Things That Batter". Robert Hill is regarded as competent minister and a potential leader.

Readers of this column will know that the workforce has written off Simon Crean, and favour a return of Kim Beazley. Of other Labor hopefuls, Latham is popular, Kevin Rudd is well regarded, and Craig Emerson unknown. Wayne Swan suffers from his association with Queensland's Goss government, which promised so much and delivered so little. Amazing how difficult it can be to turn rhetoric into policy. As for the state premiers, no one envisages any of them making a successful foray into Canberra.

How about a female Prime Minister? Most other democracies have had one by now, what about Australia? Carmen Lawrence was referred to as "Meg Lees with PMT", a prima donna lacking credibility. Bronwyn Bishop is a source of ribald jokes. And of Jenny Macklin: "Who?" "Never heard of her." No other females rate a mention.

Where's that bloody smoko van? If it doesn't get here soon, I think I'll gnaw my arm off!