Does gay marriage prove marriage matters?

Those with a conservative point of view believe that marriage is the union of a man and woman which provides the social, biological and moral context for raising children. In other words, gender matters in marriage.

Proponents of gay marriage, on the other hand, say gender no longer matters in marriage. What matters today is the right of two people who love each other to live together in civil equality before the law. In other words, marriage is about equality.

This standard aspect of the debate is basically about gender versus equality. And if the Katter brothers are anything to go by, just about every man and woman in Australia has a view on the topic.

What is interesting though is that suddenly marriage seems to matter again. Ironically, the gay marriage campaign has brought 'traditionalist' concerns about the health of the institution of marriage into a sharper focus.

Not a moment too soon.

Marriage has been steadily going out of fashion in Australia since the late 1970s. Over the last two decades or so, Australians have tended to marry less and divorce more.

According to figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, when a couple gets married (whether in a religious or civil ceremony), the probability that the marriage will end in divorce has increased from around 28% twenty years ago to around 33% today.

At the same time marriages now last longer before divorce comes. In 1988 you could expect to be married for 10.1 years before the split. By 2007 this had extended to 12.5 years.

Whatever way you look at it, the prospects for any new, first marriage are not great. Perhaps that helps to explain why nearly 30% of Australians never marry in the first place.

What is surprising, therefore, is that supporters of gay marriage now tell us that more people actually want to get married. The very institution widely dismissed as irrelevant ("It's just a piece of paper!") and roundly mocked is now top of the 'must-have' list for a significant minority of the Australian people.

It's as if we are suddenly seeing a surge in demand for a brand of car known to have a 33% chance of breaking down and leaving you by the side of the road.

The Australian people have yet to decide whether they are ready to stretch the meaning of marriage to embrace a new social creed and different family types.

Yet thanks largely to the Greens, it is increasingly clear that the concept of marriage still has qualities that touch the lives and hopes of people deeply.