Cheap air fares: just add surcharges

"One checked bag and one carry-on bag."

"Yes, sir, that'll be $160."

Apparently she didn't ace her SAT math test. "You said a checked bag was $50, and a carry-on was $30. That's only $80."

"I'm just assuming you'd want them to return with you. Most passengers do."

"You mean the $80 is for one-way only?"

"That's what the illegible fine print says. Most people prefer to bring their bags back with them."

"Do most people prefer to take trains?" I asked. She let it pass unnoticed.

"Now, sir, if you'll just step on the scale."

"You mean I should put my bags on the scale," I said.

"No, sir, I mean you should put you on the scale. It costs more in jet fuel if we have passengers, so we add a weight surcharge." I complied with her request. "That'll be an extra $15," she said.

"For what?!"

"According to our weight charts, you're 15 pounds overweight. We charge a dollar a pound."