Containing a powerful adolescent urge

Teenage boys believe they are invincible because that is how they feel. Popular culture reinforces this. When testosterone takes a hold it really can take complete control. So potent is the drive it can undermine morality, conscience, logic and personal safety. This is not something that is spoken about publicly and being a woman without sons, I’m not sure whether fathers and sons discuss it much.

What can happen when boys do not receive guidance and are overwhelmed by this potent sexual drive has been recently and very beautifully captured in three Australian stories: Rachel Ward’s Beautiful Kate, Tim Winton’s Breath and the film Blessed by Ana Kokinos. Each story shows the potential hazards with devastating effect.

In each story we meet teenage boys who are on the cusp of manhood, they are curious and feel the full roar of their testosterone and sexual drive. In each account they find themselves in situations they can barely navigate, let alone control. Each boy is driven and overwhelmed by his sexual drive only to find himself manipulated and out of his depth. During their early sexual experiences they begin to sense this but it is only afterwards that they experience the cruel force of its consequences. Poor relationship choices, suicide, emotional breakdown, fractured relationships and enormous pain are canvassed and delicately exposed. Each story is a revelation. There is a scene in Blessed which is unbearable to watch. Angel wings are discretely graffitied on the wall behind a teenage boy who thought he was in control: they are subtly, almost imperceptibly drawn yet magnify the heart wrenching reality.

Each story is a masterpiece.

To encounter three distinctly different stories addressing male teenage sexuality was quite unexpected. They got me thinking: thinking about Darfur, thinking about teenagers, thinking about how international organisations think they know what to do. It got me thinking about how often we try to make things better with inadequate solutions - rushing ahead before making sure we are all on the same page. Understanding why people and societies do what they do requires a patient peeling back of the layers. Once we address one aspect another layer of the phenomena usually emerges. We should be prepared for this whenever we think we’ve finally got it right so we don’t entrench harmful practices.

Upholding human rights, ensuring access to education, livelihoods and opportunities to fulfil human potential and ultimately protecting our young (mostly from themselves) are all things we should strive for in our society and when assisting others. Even though our response to the raw power of the adolescent sex drive appears to be more sophisticated and humane than other societies I somehow suspect that deep down we are still just as freaked out as every other country when it comes to adolescent sex and its consequence.