Hello, Internet dating!

Welcome to the age of globalisation, modernity and all sorts of other forms of “progressiveness”. A couple of years ago I did an assignment entitled “Progress is Always Good”. Unfortunately I didn’t know then what I know now. Progress means the Internet, no barriers, there is no time therefore there is no reality.

How does one meet prospective mates in middle age? Gone is the monthly Church Hall dance. Even the School of Arts is just a dieing shell. Where is the opportunity to meet other singles? Well, one can go to a club or pub and get “picked up” but I’m not into pick-ups. So, “Hello Internet dating”. Sounds safe as I’m not going out to a strange place meeting strange men, Yep, it’s safe.

Internet dating is the modern Millie’s way of finding love. I have to make a profile. Gosh, looking at the profiles of other women “faithful, loyal GSOH, loves cars, loves sport/fishing/beer”!! WOW! Not much hope for “Charming, attractive, educated. Delicious, delightful, delectable”

Ahh, the dreaded “E” word! Educated! That is a bigger turn off than the “I” word. Intelligent.

Now I have to sort through male profiles that seem so very similar. “Honest gent, GSOH, own teeth (and three strand of hair tied into a pony tail!), looking for down to earth, loyal, trustworthy, athletic female for relationship.” That seems straightforward. Wait a minute, “relationship” used to apply to your relatives not a living arrangement. So this man wants a cook, cleaner, housekeeper, travel partner (must pay her own way) and a bed-warmer with an intellect that is not too obvious. Gotcha!!!

Men seem to want “activity partner, (I don’t dare ask what that means) or “groups”. No way I’m going there!

OK, back to love hunting. After bending over the computer night after night, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. Some one has sent me a “kiss”! Don’t I just feel oh-so-very-important!! Mr 6’4”, 62-years-old, athletic build, wants to meet lady, body shape not important, (my alarm bells go off instantly), has seen my profile asking to meet “Single man, no one-night stands, long term relationship or marriage”. Saved! He’s gorgeous.

We seem to click, and he decides we need to meet.

Wow, I really must appeal to him. The meeting was like an interview. I was told what he liked and didn’t like and what he “did” and “didn’t” do (the latter was a very long list).

In the “olden days” we would have met in familiar surroundings but instead we met at McDonalds. All of a sudden there seemed a huge gap between a dance 40 years ago and McDonalds. Was this a sign of progress? Where does a widow at the age of 60, or thereabouts, go to meet men?

Maybe I didn’t make myself very clear in my profile or maybe my words were too precise to be taken literally. I am an attractive, intelligent widow. I am a mature-aged university student doing my BA in Humanities and Languages. I am looking for a man who can love and be loved. I am very tactile. NO one night stands.

The man I hope to meet should be compassionate, passionate, tactile (and I don’t mean wandering hands), preferably about 6’ and somewhere between 58 and 70 years old, single and educated. Simple.