Internet dating: instant love or instant disappointment?

Maybe it’s a good thing these romances happened before internet dating or the Baroness really would have sent the children to boarding school, and the world would have been devoid of their lovely singing voices and the tales of goatherds and ladies.

What I find sad is that internet dating, or fishing for virtual reality partners, has caught the imagination of so many, many people. There are some who have found lasting happiness; but they probably started out with more in common than finding the same dating site. And for every happy ending there are others who, in their desperate loneliness, have been scammed by opportunists, or simply been left wondering where on Earth is love?

Social philosophers tell us we are becoming an instant society: instant coffee, instant wealth, instant love, and then instant internet dating to fill the niche of our hearts. But instant coffee tastes nowhere near fresh ground percolated coffee. Instant wealth can come and go - as the recent stock market testifies. Instant love? Doesn't it just leave something missing: the friendship, the build up, the drama, the passion, even the other person?!

Do we really want a relationship based on the other person's capacity to write? So many good writers have been social recluses; do you want to risk it? I mean, when you meet, and if you do form a “real-life” relationship, how many hours will you spend writing to each other? Personally I would prefer an actual kiss to a “kisses and hugs” signed on a letter.

And, what of the risk? As a society, dangerous sports such as bungee jumping and paraboarding have become the new rage. It seems we are willing to risk our money, and our lives, but when it comes to our hearts we want to be in control.

Isn’t that what love is ... the letting go ... the not being in control?

And what about choice? It seems to me internet dating offers an illusion of the potential for perfection. Some people are known to spend hours flicking through pictures and profiles of possible dates in a constant quest for perfection; but love is not a perfect thing. It is a splendid thing, but not a perfect thing. A wise person once said: “The grass might be greener in the other paddock, but it still needs mowing!”

So, with all of these expectations, is internet dating creating a new loneliness, and is our new form of seeking love actually resulting in an alienation that cuts to the heart?

Well, in terms of my friend he is excited about meeting his girlfriend in June and I wish him well. Or at least, I wish him a real life girlfriend.