The leaf blowers of La-La Land

Despite the drought, many of them resent current water restrictions which they perceive as an unreasonable penalising of the dedicated by preventing their hosing down drives and pathways, and for which the leaf blower makes a partial compromise. But, at the same time, those restrictions certainly justify the use of this treasured plaything, so the missus had better not question its use!

Manufacturers of these trendy tools may be missing out on increased marketing opportunities. They could introduce a range of product grades with healthy price tags to match. The market would, and could, afford this. It could bond even further an already strong male culture. Grades could be branded and badged as: “GTX”, “Whoooosh Premium”, “Superblow”, “Power Whopper”, “Master Blaster”, “Clearup Commando”, and so on.

Different models of blowers could have higher priced options, such as “go-faster” stripes, sports exhausts, special fuels, and could even equate power and performance with petrol consumption.

Imagine the thrill of knowing that one’s own top-shelf machine guzzles twelve litres per hour, whereas the wannabe over the street who spent less, uses just one!

This kind of achievement marks the alpha male who demands, and gets, bigger, better, quicker blow jobs.

Boys with their toys - vroom, vroom, vroom!