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Some uncomfortable truths

By Cireena Simcox - posted Friday, 20 June 2008


Which is one of the reasons that while all are busy, indignantly rippling keyboards in Sydney suburbs, or holding forth at backyard barbecues in Perth, or denouncing leftist loonies in Alice Springs, somewhere alone in the darkest moment of his short stay here, one of our young Australian men is clumsily fashioning a noose out of sheer desperation.

In the mid-90s statistics pointed an accusing finger at Australia as having the highest rate for suicide of young men below the age of 25 in the developed world. We no longer bear this shameful slur - though there is evidence that the most at-risk group of 1997 now has simply carried that same risk into an older demographic.

However even statistical evidence does not tell the entire story. It does not include the numbers of those who die by deliberately engaging in risky behaviour, or from overdoses of drugs. Those are neatly included in other statistics which simply point to the fact that most deaths in the under-25 age group are a result of the well-known adage that, well, boys will be boys.

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So we can thankfully avoid responsibility for these deaths too, and shunt as many as possible into being the result of bad parenting, lack of Christian values, feminism, inadequate policing or whatever we have packed into our well-worn sack of prejudice.

The fact that so much of this article so far has revolved around taking responsibility and not around solutions is because this is, by far, one of the greatest barriers to solving this problem that we face. We, the adults, fashioned the world our young men want no part of. We, the adults, must take the blame. We need to acknowledge the fact that “society” is not made up of “other people” but that each one of us is a part of it. We need to stop shunting blame around and face up squarely to the fact that each one of us bears responsibility.

We, the adults, have created a world in which small businesses, instead of trying to encourage and help youngsters, instead exploit them for profit. We, the adults, are the ones who are content to accept any policies except the ones which don’t hurt our wallets. We, the adults, are the ones who create the wars, manufacture the drugs, push the porn, pass on the prejudices, teach the hate. How can we evade responsibility?

The easy way out of that one, of course, is to loudly proclaim that if we are not business owners, or world leaders, or drug lords, or porn dealers it’s not up to us but others. Our consciences are clear. We did not make this a bad world. We are simple folk trying to do our best in a bad world too. It’s all the above who should take the blame.

But, given that the world we have delivered to the next generation is so basically flawed, we should be asking ourselves how we can possibly steer this generation through the shoals in which they are clearly floundering. Which is where we simple folk make simple mistakes.

Maybe if we thought a little more before we spoke we wouldn’t slap a young boy heartily on the back and tell him he should be “the man of the family”. The ridiculous porkie “boys don’t cry” doesn’t get much of an airing these days but when it does we should counter with a hearty reassurance that, of course, they do.

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Instead of making a fuss if a kid brings a swear word back from the playground perhaps we should wash their mouth out with soap if they ever tell their mates not to be a “pansy”? And why on earth do we stand back and let fathers, uncles or older men call little boys “mate”? Mums and older women don’t address little girls as “girlfriend”. For a very good reason: being a girl-child does not admit a small female person into the grown-up world of womanhood, and neither does being a boy-child saddle a small boy with the responsibilities of being an adult male.

There are a plethora of clubs, organisations, agencies and support groups that are desperate for more help. Those who seriously want to concern themselves with the question of why so many of our young men are exiting the world we made for them could join them. Not everyone, it is true, has either the time, the inclination or, for various reasons, the ability to do this.

However, each one of us is capable of examining our own behaviour and our own attitudes. Do we call every young man we see “you young blokes” as if they were all interchangeable? Do we assume that every young male we get into conversation with wants to talk about beer and football? If we see a group of young guys together do we automatically label them a gang instead of a group? If a youngster is more interested in the arts than science do we advise them to go down a different career path? Do we tell a boy of 18 who doesn’t want to go to university but play in a band that he should get a “real” job?

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About the Author

Cireena Simcox has been a journalist and columnist for the last 20 years and has written a book titled Finding Margaret Cavendish. She is also an actor and playwright .

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