Flying a Chinese-made flag to stimulate the economy

“Just like the President demands,” he explained, “the people will be so grateful for the money they will buy things they don’t need in order to help business make more money and stop a recession”.

“Isn’t it likely,” I asked, “that the people will use the money to pay their mortgages or for overdue healthcare bills?”

“Only if they’re traitors who don’t want to see the end of the recession,” he said. “Me, I’m the patriot. I’m doing what I’m told.”

I picked up some of the items in Marshbaum’s cart. The clothes were made in Pakistan and Thailand. The books were printed in Hong Kong. The toaster had a label, “Hecho in Mexico”. The half-dozen toys, each probably carrying unspecified amounts of lead, came from China. “Even your American flag,” I pointed out, “was probably made in China”.

“Of course it was,” said Marshbaum proudly. “Who could afford it if it were American-made?”

“This doesn’t help Americans!” I said. Marshbaum was quick with his response.

“Bought them at Wal-Mart. Big Box hires Americans to sell the products. I buy the products. Two stimuli for the price of one!”

I reminded Marshbaum that last year 1.6 million Americans were laid off, most of them probably because not only was the economy diving lower than a nuclear sub, but that American companies had formed alliances with slave-wage companies in other countries to provide products that skilled union workers once made in America. Marshbaum didn’t even blink.

“Cheaper products are better for Americans,” he again emphasised, and then launched a discourse about how if the products were more expensive, Americans couldn’t afford them and the economy would suffer from a lack of what voodoo and government economists call “vitality”.

“If the companies hired American labor,” I reminded him, “the workers would have more money to buy more things, even if they were more expensive. The economy would recover.”

“A fifteen buck shirt is three times better than a forty-five buck shirt,” he said.

“Even if the bosses buy cheap cloth and 10-year-olds are paid pennies an hour to make shirts that the stitching falls out in two months?”

“So you buy two more shirts. No big deal. Stimulates the cash registers. More times the drawers open, the better it is for business. Now, do you have any more dumb comments or questions?”

“Just one. Why are you wheeling everything home? Is your car in the shop?”

“That’s two questions, but since reporters are math-challenged, I’ll answer both of them with one question.” His one question made far more sense than anything else he said this cool, windy afternoon. “With gas prices over three bucks a gallon, who can afford to drive?”