Australia Day cringe

Mateship is a concept that, while not forcefully nor necessarily in practice, is constructed to exclude women. Its history lies overwhelmingly among the Diggers, all those good old Aussie boys from country families that innocently went off to support ye olde Mother Country (ironically, beginning the mythology around the typical Aussie involved pledging ultimate allegiance to the Brits). Sharing cigarettes while in the trenches with a few blue jokes thrown in here and there. Getting up to mischief, whistling at the nurses, losing their virginity to Ladies of the Night before they had the chance to lose their lives. Above all, standing alongside your friends and supporting them in the face of all the odds. That's what this country was founded on. I know, because John Howard told me. Endlessly.

Yes, mateship belongs entirely to the boys. But considering it's so central to this idea of the typical Australian (along with larrikinism, yet another realm almost exclusively spoken about as being occupied by men), where does this leave women within the construction of Australian identity? Equally as pertinent, where does this leave men who are disinclined towards pranks and buffoonery, country manners and manly pursuits? Where does it leave migrants and new Australians? And just where in the hell does it leave the Indigenous folk of this country?

The fact is, there is no “typical Aussie”. Holding on to this ridiculous mythology of the Aussie larrikin as being the definition of Australian spirit IS cause for a cultural cringe. It's isolationist, embarrassing and determinedly disinterested in complexities or diversity. It's designed to excuse a wide range of ignorant and offensive behaviour, because it allows the perpetrators to hide behind the accusation that those offended “just can't take a joke” - and we all know there's nothing LESS Australian than having a giant rod up your bum because you're incapable of seeing humour in the marginalisation and dissemination of others.

Think about the reaction to criticism of Sam Kekovich's 2008 Australia Day lamb ad. Trotting out a lame joke about New Zealand PM Helen Clark's femininity for cheap laughs, online forums lit up with alternate outraged complaints and defiant support. Being a lunatic feminist, I naturally fell firmly on the side of “WTF?”

But why was I getting my knickers in a knot? After all, it was meant as a "jovial swipe".

“It’s the rivalry between Australia and New Zealand and it’s a bit of fun,” Mr Moore [Former New Zealand prime minister and director-general of the World Trade Organisation] said.

Yeah, because who doesn't find it fun to denigrate the political achievements of a smart and talented woman by suggesting somehow she's lacking in the more fundamental aspects of womanhood?

Oh right. “Typical Aussies”.

I don't know what the rest of you are doing this Saturday, but I'm going to be doing what's typical behaviour for ME on Australia Day. Backyard. Best Friend. Goon. And not a cricket bat in sight.