Getting the treatment

Not even a mention of re-aligning my bio-rhythms, no attempt to utilise qigong and the natural healing power of energy balance, no investigation of my blood-type reaction to my eating habits, no offer of Reiki therapy or yogic manipulation, no aura therapy (despite the obvious fact that my auras were completely rat-shit).

Can this horror story get worse? Yes!

Upon being delivered safely back to the emergency ward and again delivered into the hands of the well demonstrated incompetence and indifference of the ward staff, the worst happened! What more can they do to this unfortunate wretch I hear you ask?

Can you believe that I was denied SPIRITUAL SUCCOUR! How, I hear you ask?

NO GIDEON BIBLE ALONGSIDE THE BED!

That’s right! In the midst of my agony I was denied the WORD! I was denied the use of the Christian Science healing modality. I was denied the promise of the after life and the forgiving of my sins. In short, I was ruthlessly sacrificed on the altar of Mammon by this establishment conspiracy!

When I demanded absolution for being a rotten bastard all my life I was told to shut up! When the pain started up again and I requested that my auric lifeline be reconnected to the nethermost region of eternal bliss, I was only given another shot of morphine! When my blood pressure rose to dangerous levels I was given medication and denied chakra re-alignment - a therapy that would have immediately corrected the problem!

And so it went on - a continuous indictment of an ethically and morally defunct public hospital system - until at last I was pain free and safely home.

I urge the broader community to join me in a crusade - a crusade against the disgraceful standard of medical treatment presently available to the long-suffering public. Refuse to support a medical profession that relies on evidence; peer reviewed publications; ethical constraints; repeatable outcomes; and controlled experimental analysis. Deny the well documented proof of positive results and substantiated anecdotal evidence of the professionalism consistently displayed by overworked and dedicated hospital staff!

This is your right! Fifty thousand “new age” publications, any number of dick-headed greasy pole climbing tabloid/TV journos, and a plethora of ever increasingly moronic “celeb” magazines catering to an ever increasingly moronic clientele can’t be wrong! Go to it - by clinging to the past the future is ours! Link hands, form a Druidic circle, slaughter a chicken, get in touch with yourself, and Demand Your Rights!

I am happy to report that the “stones” were eventually “passed”, and I am fully recovered. I would also categorically state that I would willingly engage in discourse with two spotlessly clean, white shirted, basketball playing Mormons while enduring a 20 kilo cannon ball hanging from my testicles rather than go through it again.

I was going to say that I would rather shake hands with John Howard - however one must maintain some standard of ethical decency. Not even renal colic is that bad.