Human resources - what do they actually do?

If you log on to your organisation’s HR website, you'll get screen after screen of information on organisational policy and procedures. These are so comprehensive, they're almost like Hansard. You wouldn't touch them with a 40 foot barge pole or else risk sinking into a miasma of passive verbs, redundancies and even then, possibly emerging no wiser.

What lies behind the mindset that writes this babble? Survival. HR people write crap because they think that's what their boss wants to read. In reality, their boss has neither the time, or possibly the inclination, to read mounds of turgid prose. And if he or she does actually care then they're going to want to read something like:

The School of Pants Wearing has a major problem with resource management.

Solution: Meet with the head of school this Friday. Background briefing note is attached.

A few years ago one of my junior teaching staff had a problem with her pay. I called HR, spoke to Ms Y and was told to send her an email giving details of the problem, which I promptly did. A week passed and still nothing had happened. Tutorial staff walk a fine line between penury and poverty so I walked over to the Human Resource Management Group offices - about 100 metres away.

I asked for Ms Y and was told to take a seat among all the shiny brochures on sexual discrimination, access for disabled students and mature age entry. I could see Ms Y through the glass windows of the office. Her name was written on her desk (why I thought?). She was 15 metres away.

I was told by her supervisor that Ms Y could not come out and see me in person as the matter was “under review”. I asked if the nature of the review also contained a confidentiality clause as effectively we could sort this out in 10 minutes and the young woman had rent to pay, and so on.

Unfortunately, no. There were procedures that had to be followed. I was also told that it was “unusual” for a senior staff member to approach the Human Resources Management Group in person as it had a comprehensive website that dealt with most contingencies.

So I walked back to my office, picked up the phone and called Ms Y. She apologised and said that there were procedures that had to be followed. We both agreed that Kafka was alive and well in bureaucracy.

I then rang the Dean's assistant and said that a Herald Sun reporter was in the building asking questions about how we treat our casual staff and it might not be a bad idea, PR-wise, in the case of our young tutor, if she was paid ASAP.

The money was in her bank account the next day.

Should I have resorted to deception to get the young woman paid? If I had not resorted to deception, what were the chances of her getting paid soon? Are deception and the use of fear valid management tactics? They certainly were in Enron and HIH.