Publicly exposed

But for an offender trying to rebuild their life, through treatment, into a more functional, safe one for the community, a public register would be a disaster. And I predict, should it ever happen, more, not less offending would occur.

And has everyone forgotten that most child sex offending, about 90 per cent, happens within families?

Consider what a public register would do to the victims of these offenders?

Most victims, like me, had an emotional attachment to their abuser. A father or mother (it’s rarely acknowledged that 30 per cent of abusers are female) who abuses their child may also genuinely, aside from the abuse, love him or her. This is not lost on the victim.

Needy children dress up whatever attention that comes their way as the love they need to grow. This attachment is the most serious and deepest damage of child sexual abuse, the effects of which, I can attest, linger for decades.

The best healing programs lead the whole family into therapy with the victim, other parent, brothers and sisters and train them all to understand what triggers the perpetrator’s dysfunction.

They are then given strategies to recognise potential offending behaviours and situations.

Through such programs, the child victim can salvage vestiges of the relationship, as can the perpetrator. And through this, healing through restorative justice, a powerful mechanism for the victim, is more likely to occur.

It shouldn’t be about punishment. Who would choose to be a child sex offender, reviled by your entire family and community?

If the day ever comes when we can talk about this crime like any other, over the dinner table, instead of furtively hiding and being in denial about it, this will be a step in the right direction.

The alternative is what we’ve always had: offenders going underground, not seeking treatment, changing their names, hiding their shameful attractions until they grow larger and less manageable by the day and being unable to continue treatment or quietly set about healing their own damaged lives.

Making a public register would be little better than putting offenders in the stocks to be kicked and jeered at by any passer by.

I personally know two offenders who have contacted me after hearing my story. Both live in eternal regret about the damage they’ve caused, have received treatment, hate themselves for what they’ve done and are trying to rebuild their lives. Both have attempted suicide.

Even I remember that Jesus said: let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.

If I, as a victim of this crime, can see the merits of treatment rather than retribution, can’t others also open their minds to new possibilities?