Disempowered young Muslim men turn toxic

But we should be concerned about old men not only because a few of them propagate dangerous ideas. Most older Muslim men are more relaxed in their social attitudes than are the young ones; they have less need to prove their credentials. Yet they still contribute to the problem because of their refusal to cede power to younger men or to women of any age. Women, by and large, have copped this sweet, but some young men have responded just as Mustafa did, by exercising power over women.

Older men need to provide young men with positive role models, but they also need to provide them with the knowledge that one day they will be seen as worthy to outgrow their mentors.

In attempting to explain Mustafa, I do not excuse him. I have never hated anyone as much as I hated him and I feel a visceral hatred towards any man who attempts to inspire respect through fear. For a long time I had no desire to understand; I still have no desire to forgive.

But understanding is necessary and this is what I came to understand: that young men crave status and that some young men who are denied this will turn toxic; that those of us who are Muslim and Western must build an Islam enriched by ancestral cultures but not enclosed by them; that there are inspiring men and women, young and old, who are engaged in doing just that. And that I will hold fast to them.