Book review: Gods and Swaggering Heroes: Swashbuckling Tales from the Greek Myths

We learn that the first gathering place there of the ghosts is the Asphodel Fields. Asphodel, he observes, may sound melodious but there is nothing melodious about its meaning which is that it is the meadows of whatever was not reduced to ashes.

After describing the other geography of the entrance to, and of the underworld itself, he points out that at a place where three roads meet and three judges convene every day to sit in judgment on the dead.

The courts were convened on a racial basis, one taking the Asian ghosts, and the other the European ones. Cases of doubt were referred to a third judge and, as David says, they would not get away with that today because of its obviously racially discriminatory procedures.

Each of the chapters of the book vividly captures the caprice, amorality, immorality and the almost universal selfishness of the gods. The truth, which David pretty fairly implies, is that the myths were invented by mortals who would dearly have loved to behave the way in which the gods did, if they themselves were immortal and infallible and could have got away with it.

One chapter is on the well-known story of the siege of Troy. David Myers thinks that the real enemy of the Ancient Greeks was as much the Greeks themselves as the Trojans. "They postured," he writes, "like peacocks showing off their tails. They squabbled among themselves for status. When they thought they had secured enough status and recognition for this life, they postured for posterity and history."

David also betrays his scepticism about the Helen's allures. It was not, he thinks, her face but Greek belligerence that launched a thousand ships. The family squabbles of the gods of Olympus were even more undignified than those of the Greek kings.

In the course of retelling the stories, David Myers cannot resist making a modern detour. He writes that they remind him of a modern anecdote about Baroness Thatcher. A new Conservative MP apparently came to take his seat in parliament and sat facing the Opposition across the chamber. "There is the enemy," he thought, "With them I must grapple." But the Lady, his prime minister, told him he was wrong, that his real enemies were seated beside him: they were his fellow Conservatives. From them, he would suffer far more subtle treachery, envy and betrayal than he would ever from the Opposition.

And so it was, David Myers says, with the Greeks. Zeus was inclined to side with the Trojans but his nagging wife Hera was with the Greeks. David Myers argues that had modern marriage guidance counselling been then the vogue, and Zeus able to attend some seminars on anger control, matters might have ended more happily. The gods never could resist interfering in human affairs. Who knows what the result might have been had there not been discord between Zeus and Hera.

One virtue - the use of the word "virtue" in the context of Greek Gods does rather sound like an oxymoron - of David Myers's book is that you can dip into any part of it at any time for amusement and information. It is a book that can assuage the pain of either a short or a long journey.

It is also attractively and originally produced with an irreverent cover, and reproductions of elegant drawings at the beginning and end of each chapter. I can assure you that the short summary under its ISBN classification is entirely accurate. "Gods, Greek - Humor" (although humour is misspelled), "Mythology, Greek - [misspelled] Humor", "Mythology, Classical - [misspelled] Humor".

I am unable to pass over the misspelling because it has become a tradition for David and me to expose any grammatical error, misspelling, or heresy that either of us can find in a work of the other. Mention of the word "heresy" also reminds me that there are a few of these in this book, and that if Zeus were to descend into this room today David's despatch to the Asphodel Fields in the company of Hermes would be quick and sharp. Indeed, I think that they would get him on three counts, frivolity, heresy and blasphemy, and the third god at the crossroads wouldn't be called upon to intervene.

"Blasphemy" reminds me of another anecdote about David. Before I tell it however I am bound to say that his conduct, as an author, is far from unique. Soon after Glorious Gods and Swaggering Heroes was published he made his way to all the bookshops that he could find, and when the shop assistants were distracted by paying customers, carefully replaced those books on the booksellers' shelves with his own with the covers facing outward.

His next excursion was to the libraries. At the first library that he visited he searched for about an hour for Glorious Gods and Swaggering Heroes. Dejected and angry at finding nothing, as he was leaving he passed the religious section of the library and was astonished to see his book, some four copies of it - the other six being out with anxious readers - boldly placed on the shelves of the section for religion.

That, it seems to me, is a fitting punishment for his blasphemy. The novelist, essayist, scholar, editor, publisher, belletrist and reviewer has now become a religious icon in the libraries.