Your child next?

If I felt I had some form of community support at least from professionals, and could have been referred to the correct services, maybe I never would have offended. But I honestly felt there was nowhere to turn, and I lacked the courage to act to address my wayward feelings as a result. It's kind of funny that my worse fears were actually realised because I did not reveal my problems.

Even now, I still feel the community's "knee jerk" reaction to child sex offenders. After I was charged, I was bailed and went back to New South Wales to live. I immediately had the support of my mother, brothers, sister-in-law, and some close friends on a daily basis. This support enabled me to straight away start counselling from an ex-forensic psychologist who had vast experience in working with child sex offenders.

I initiated my own treatment. So I was making considerable in-roads into getting my life back on track, a kind of "rebirth". I returned to Victoria 12 months later, in December 2005, just for sentencing. I was spared jail and given a community-based order. I was advised that upon completing it, I could return to NSW - home, the best place for my ongoing rehabilitation.

However, to date, this has been a no go. The authorities in NSW have rejected my application for return. I am a convicted child sex offender and NSW will not accept such persons whilst they are serving a sentence. My community based order lasts until December 2007 even though I have completed the number of hours I was given.

This means that I must remain in Victoria until then - the same location as those I have offended against - and where I have no family or friends who will have anything to do with me: and away from my professional help. Well, all of that makes sense, doesn't it?

I’ve had four suicide attempts, one before my arrest and three since. With the treatment I’ve received I know I won’t offend against children again. I can’t say I’m as confident about not accessing child porn again. I still feel the desire but loathe myself for it and so far have successfully fought it. If I was near my therapist, I know he would help in this regard.

I have a solicitor friend in Sydney who is fighting to get me back there. So far it has been about four months with no word from the NSW Government. Meanwhile, I live in a state of limbo - or purgatory depending on what kind of day I am having.

I don’t expect sympathy from anyone after what I’ve done. But just from a practical point of view, if you want society to be protected from people like me, making it easier for us to get the treatment we need to stop offending, makes sense.

By directing resources to those offenders, potential or actual, who want help, we can save thousands of children from lifelong damage.

Until we start creating conditions that will help keep all our children safe, all it takes is a moment of inattention for all your efforts and vigilance in protecting your children to come to naught.

Child sex offences, largely, are preventable crimes waiting to happen.