Men make a meal of household equality

New research suggests that men’s contribution rises most if both partners work part-time. But once women’s share of earnings rises above their men’s, men seem to “strike” to defend their (threatened?) masculinity. They actually withdraw from housework.

Even if the couple shares a feminist “gender ideology” of equal housework, guess what? Even that narrows the gender housework gap very little.

What’s going on?

Oddly existing research virtually ignores emerging neuro-psychological research that’s showing just how much differing gender behaviour might reflect different cognitive and neurological development between the sexes.

Boys and girls start with hard-wired cognitive biases. Habits then form from repeated individual choices. And no one would deny that those choices themselves occur within a culture which thinks differently about men and women.

Given that, it’s not so surprising that the sexes often have strong (somewhat) complementary preferences. On becoming parents most women are willing primary providers of primary care - and milk. That gives them enduring skill advantages. So too men often become the handymen without complaint.

There’s usually housework that neither partner fancies. Often men can “hold out” longer while that question of who’ll tidy the lounge just hangs in the air. But though most prefer tidiness, caring relatively less about untidiness is a preference too.

Of course those preferences reflect (among other things) social expectations. But the important question is how well gender roles suit men and women - whether they’re experienced as oppressive or as something which enhances and deepens valuable lived experience.

And it doesn’t seem that women experience the gender housework gap as oppressively imposed by outside expectations. When asked, only one in seven Australian women say they’re unsatisfied. A paltry three per cent are very unsatisfied, though nearly a third think their men could do more.

Meanwhile back in the academy, feminists speak of women’s relative satisfaction in the same way that Marxists used to bemoan the “false consciousness” of proletarians who weren’t revolutionaries.

No doubt there are horror stories among dissatisfied women. And some of us men should probably do more at home. But it doesn’t look like a huge problem.

But I would say that wouldn’t I?

Anyway I’ve got to go - dinner’s ready.