This new and improved life

Any chance this advertising copy might?

Were they racing each other for the opportunity to catch all that disposable income falling out of our collective wallets, I wouldn’t mind so much. I really wouldn’t. No, these are tough times. Marketers grab your attention by making you constantly ask not who you are, but how you feel you stand up compared to the person next to you.

Yesterday, through admittedly hypocritical post-commute laziness, I went into Starbucks for a Grande Latte (medium-size just isn’t aspirational enough for today’s commuter). As I reach for the sugar, a sign above the condiments says Customise your drink.

Time to draw the line. Just look at how the language is used. Inference - insidious, quietly spoken guilt. Make yourself better, more individual - put sugar in your coffee. Stand out from the rest of the crowd and show how health conscious you are - use artificial sweetener.

Did I leave my coffee and walk out in disgust? Not likely. I needed the caffeine to get through the day working a job to buy more stuff I don’t need. Wouldn’t you? After all, I’ve just realised that I’m failing my family through overwork, resent sharing my house with my kids because of the kitchen, and my marriage is doomed unless I buy new sheets.

What I did was laugh out loud. Someone asked me what I was laughing at (this is London, don’t forget), so I told them and thankfully they got the joke. Or they were just being British and polite. Either works for me.

And so does laughing at the continuing onslaught on your sense of worth every time you encounter it.

Whether you giggle quietly, smirk to yourself, or genuinely laugh out loud and make people near you smile it’s worth it. Absolutely free, guaranteed to give you years more enjoyment than new sheets or a flat-packed kitchen, and puts you back in the lead in the race to improve your life.