Family-friendly policy also means someone to look after ageing parents

As that vice gets tighter, you'll pray that your boss has the kindness of heart and good sense to allow you to work odd hours, to come in late and leave early, or arrive early and leave late, who'll turn a blind eye when those sick days are running low, or who'll encourage you to take a day off to recover. When you get the chance, you'll thank your partner for taking the burden of the kids, so that you can focus on your parents, who themselves may have forgotten what it's like to be a parent rather than a dependant.

It's not all bad, of course. You'll get to know your parents in a way that you thought never possible. There's the need to bath and clean, to wipe dirty eyes and noses, and do other things that you always assumed was a duty of theirs but which is now all yours courtesy of time's ability to reverse the dependencies of the young and the old in ways that you never imagined.

Dementia can mellow old men who once were cold, and can melt the masculinity that stopped them from ever touching. A new dad can emerge who, in many ways, is sweeter than the one who was there before. But there's a sadness to this vice. For whereas sick children are likely to get better, you know in your heart of hearts that your parents are destined for a different ending; that there's misery at the end of the road, for that's where things will end when you're very old.

I know of this vice because I'm trapped in it, and occasionally it all gets too much. But so are others, and our number is on the rise. For this is destined to become the biggest family struggle in an ageing society, where children arrive late and parents live so much longer. It's a challenge being faced on a daily basis but it has so far yet to rate a serious mention by our politicians. They're still grappling with how to give parents the time to look after their children, and have yet to address the equally important question of how best to give children the time to look after their ageing parents.