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At last, some humour

By Don Aitkin - posted Monday, 8 October 2018


The Creation of the Big Plan

In the beginning was the plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan was completely without substance
And darkness fell upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke to their Supervisors saying
It is a crock of s**t and it stinketh

And the Supervisors went unto their Executive Officers and sayeth
'It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odour thereof'
And the Executive Officers went unto
Their Program Managers and sayeth unto them:
'It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong,
such that none here may abide its strength'

And the Program Managers went unto their Assistant State Mangers
And sayeth unto them:
'It is a vessel of fertilizer which aids plant growth, and it is very strong'

And the State Managers went unto the Deputy Secretary
And sayeth unto him:
'It promoteth growth. And it is very powerful'

And the Deputy Secretary went unto the Secretary and sayeth unto him:
'This powerful new plan will actively promote the growth
and efficiency of the Department … and this office in particular'

And the Secretary looked upon the plan
and saw that it was good.
And thus the Plan became Policy.

There is something for everyone here, at least what seems to me to be the majority of readers. I hope you enjoy these extracts, and feel able to supply some of your own. And finally, one of my favourite cartoons:

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This article was first published on Don Aitkin.



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About the Author

Don Aitkin has been an academic and vice-chancellor. His latest book, Hugh Flavus, Knight was published in 2020.

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Creative Commons LicenseThis work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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