Giving men a strong voice: what goes on Inside Man

I don't think masculinity should be about having a job, strength or power. I think we should as a society strive for a much more inclusive, positive definition. It should be about making choices, and having inner strength to adapt, evolve and learn about ourselves as men.

There are more stories, often too short. Some seem fragmentary. There needs to be a more thorough exploration of what it means to be a man- white, black, or Asian, in which city. But the amazing thing is that this book is needed at all. Why can't men just get up and tell their stories without fear of attack? And the inclusion of a wide variety of men - gay, straight, uncertain, puzzled, young and old- is refreshing.

Some might ask "but what will women think?" The best women will support men and stand by them. I can't complain about the women who have encouraged me, whatever they thought. Some of my most popular pieces in this journal and in The Conversation.com.au have included women's ideas. Many women supported a piece on how young fathers are getting more enthusiastic. They do want men to be proud, confident and strong fathers closely involved in raising their children, taking them swimming, playing with them in parks, racing them to the shops.

I wish this book had an index, and some of the writing seems to lack a bit of polish. That will vex some, and please others. Here are men's voice un-polished and un-corrected. The voices are familiar to me from the men who speak to me in unguarded conversations in pubs and cars and coffee-shops, when they feel they can speak what is in their hearts. Let's think positively and expect that the book will give some hope to the many males who feel they can speak out, talk about their own self-doubts and gain in confidence as they find their voices.

For the rest of us, we must keep up the debate about what's in, and what's not in, the media? As Poole says, men are too often portrayed as heroes (football players, winners in various sports and so on) or villains ( the dads who aren't doing what someone wants them to, or capitalists like the guys poisoning villages in Brazil, and so on). And we must keep asking advertisers why must they show men so often as fools and clowns.

And with a determined effort, we will again understand that it takes two to tango. We need to hear men's voices clearly, as we need to hear women's. That would mean a fairer and more just world.