The case of the shaggy tartan

"No, the palace is staying out of this."

"Hold on, wasn't there a chap some years back, a pop singer or some such, that ditched his name and described himself as the Artist Formerly Known As Prince."

"Watson, you might be onto something."

"Well, how about Formerly UK"

"Not in a million years!"

"We could be Still UK."

"No not really appropriate. We are in the position of a bullfighter missing his spectacles."

"Come again, old chap"

"The horns of a dilemma. And then there's the flag."

"Sorry?"

"Right now the Union Flag is red, white and blue. It features the crosses of the saints George, Andrew and Patrick. Without the Scottish saltire it's two red crosses on a white background and runs the risk of not looking dressed properly. And that does not take into account the more than 20 countries and regions that have the flag, on their flag, in some form or another. It's the devil of a mess. Though I see a commercial opportunity. In a few years, if Scotland goes, well, you know, than the Union Flag will be worth a few bob."

"Euros, probably,'' and with that Watson got up and earned a sharp rebuke from a clearly agitated Holmes.

"Come back to the table. Where are you going at a time of such impending chaos?"

"To get more marmalade."