Divorce: escape from a toxic marriage

Cranky Pants Noely ‏@YaThinkN Not a hope in hell do I regret it.

MaDame Marce Lindsay@EladrialSKeksIs I sure don't. I married a sociopath who tried to kill me twice. Low self-esteem is a dangerous thing.

What about those who stay together when they should have divorced? I often asked my mother why she didn't leave my father. I have spent countless hours in therapy trying to undo the damage caused by them staying together. She said there was no option to leave a marriage unless one could earn an independent income and cope with the social stigma and alienation that divorce attracted in those times. My parents stayed in that miserable, pitiful marriage for 50 years. It was a psychological prison.

A friend of mine told me her elderly parents still have an antagonistic relationship. "I remember asking them to separate when I was a teen. I wasn't getting either parent because they were constantly distracted with their arguing. It is extremely sad that at the end of their life there is no love warmth or communication." She believes a lot of her own relationship struggles have stemmed from both her parents telling her as a child how much they disliked the other and also asking her to keep secrets for them.

Most people don't leave marriages easily; they may struggle with their feelings for years and divorce is turned to as a last resort. Ending any marriage – even a violent one – is difficult and some people will tolerate the most destructive situation in preference to facing the "unknown". And yet divorce could be the best thing that could happen to these people and their children. Shouldn't those counselling vouchers be also used to help some couples separate, leave each other?