Where do you come from?

When Kevin Rudd asked me "where do you come from?" he wasn't expecting me to say: "I'm from the Australian Federation of International Students, and we help students fit into the wider Australian community".

But he shouldn't have been that surprised. Famously, the former PM's catchphrase was: "I'm Kevin, I'm from Queensland and I'm here to help you".

People ask me where I'm from all the time, with guesses including: Japan, Korea, Shanghai, Beijing, Sichuan, Malaysia, Vietnam, Thailand. All except Melbourne (my home) and Hong Kong (my birthplace). Next time I wear a sari I bet someone will think I'm from India!

I don't mind. In fact, I quite enjoy it because I know I can adapt to many groups without the stereotype. Depending on my mood, I will answer them differently.

"Where do you come from?" sparked debate this month in the Chinese community, with leading representatives saying Chinese Australian feel they are treated as outsiders, despite being the biggest non-Anglo migrant group and with many families going back generations.

"Unfortunately, in Australia people still tend to think you're not Australian - if you look Asian you can't be Australian, which is not right," was Chinese Community Council of Australia Victoria Chapter President Dr Stanley Chiang's view.

Some disagree that the comment; "we also see foreigners as 'foreigners'" and that "it's hard to define who is an Australian and who is a foreigner". Others were quite "embarrassed" to be portrayed as victims who only complain, when "the most unique thing about Australia is that everyone comes from different parts of the world". Of course, there are those who are sick and tired of having to explain that they are 'Australian' with a Chinese face.

What does the question mean anyway?

It depends on context. Take your pick:

Option A: I'd like to know more about you, so tell me where you're from, and our conversation can start there.

Option B: You look and/or sound different, you must have migrated here, we welcome you, and want to know which parts of the world you and your family migrated from.

Option C: You look and/or sound different, you must be a foreigner, and we don't really welcome you here.

Option D: Which city or state in Australia do you come from?

Dr Chiang picked option C. He believes it is the only option.

The Chinese Australian community itself is very diverse, just as diverse as all the options to interpret a question (if not more) and it's a community that cannot easily fit into one box. This is also a challenge for leaders in the Chinese community only too aware of the challenges when trying to mobilise the community for common interests or to lobby government.

Early Chinese immigrants came in a trickle, dating back to the foundations of the British colonies in Australia, then a rush - the Gold Rush attracted a large wave of Chinese to Australia in search of gold. Numbers declined following Federation as the White Australia policy encouraged discrimination against Chinese. That racist policy was abolished in 1973, in time for new waves of Chinese migration from Cambodia and Vietnam under humanitarian programs and skilled or business migrants from Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, and Taiwan. More recently, people from mainland China grew to become the biggest group of Chinese migrants to Australia.

These shifts complicate the matter of identity as there are many second, third, fourth and even fifth generation Chinese Australians with varying degrees of connection to their Chinese heritage.

The Chinese Australian community is expanding rapidly and, according to the 2011 census, four per cent of our population reported Chinese ancestry. Mandarin has recently overtaken Greek as the second most commonly spoken language at home in Melbourne.

With such diversity, not all "Chinese Australians" feel the same way when being asked their identity. In fact, how the question is perceived depends how the question is delivered, as well as the person who is receiving the message.

When a group of diverse Chinese was congratulated that they "spoke very good English", some saw it as a compliment, some thought it was derogatory - and there are also those who thought the comment aimed to highlight their incompetency in the language.

For a multicultural society to work, tolerance and respect must come from both sides.

So, where do you come from?