Class wars and the nanny state

There is a down side to the nanny that should worry even the yummiest of mummies – and that is having a younger woman in close proximity to their husband (ie, meal ticket). There is nothing that brings home the sad realization that a wealthy husband is not a financial plan, than finding the au pair or nanny in bed with your man. Wise mummies know never to hire an au pair or nanny who is better looking and more fab than them.

Let's face it no matter how many kilometers you run a day, no matter how much body hair you rip off yourself and no matter how much you bleach your hair, the au pair has no stretch marks and probably worked as an exotic dancer in Berlin shortly before she arrived on your doorstep. That's why the frumpy nanny, older, overweight and dim witted, is the favored nanny of choice by those who want to protect their assets. When mummies say they want Mary Poppins they mean an older woman with her shirt buttoned up holding an umbrella.

Probably J.M.Barrie played into this fear when he created Peter Pan. The nanny – Nana – is a Newfoundland dog.

Opposition childcare spokeswoman Sussan Ley accused Ms Ellis of inciting a class war, saying "I'm sure Labor would be delighted to make this some sort of class war; well, it's not, and again proves why Kate Ellis shouldn't be in the job," she said. 

Perhaps Ms Ley should visit a private school and then report back on the class divide. I would be happy to compare notes with her. Meanwhile, if Prime Minister Abbott becomes a reality and so does the subsidized nanny, I predict the only mothers who will benefit will be the "poorer" ones at private schools who at the moment suffer nanny envy.