There's probably a Kiwi in your street. If not, they're on their way.
Every week about 1,000 New Zealanders quit their lush but economically limp homeland, carrying one-way tickets.
Most migrating Kiwis don't fly far. They just cross The Ditch, as the Tasman Sea is known, settling in the country next door, which under a reciprocal arrangement is open to NZ citizens.
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The newcomers can start work and stay as long as they want. However they can't access Australian social services for the first two years.
In the past twelvemonth more than 50,000 have fled NZ. That's the equivalent of the population of Mildura – and there's no sign the flood will ebb. In the same period around 14,300 made the reverse trip – mostly Kiwis returning home – leaving a net migration outflow of about 35,000.
The Kiwi diaspora is extraordinary. One in five NZ citizens now live overseas. That includes more than 100,000 Maori who have moved into Australian cities in such numbers that they've built their own marae (traditional meeting house).
The phenomenon isn't new, but the scale is. In the 1980s former Prime Minister Robert Muldoon commented that the exodus was raising the IQ level of both countries, but there are now many more push-pull factors.
At the heart of the problem is the economy. NZ isn't an unlucky country but it doesn't have massive mineral resources so has to rely on fickle tourism and exporting primary produce.
While writing this story in Wellington two major earthquakes struck Christchurch. They hit when the South Island city was just starting to recover from a huge shaking in February that killed 181 and severely damaged the Central Business District.
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Many residents say they've had enough and swear they'll leave. This is no instant emotional response; many migrants have been from Christchurch, able-bodied workers with young families, nerves frayed by the non-stop shaking.
Their departures are compounding the difficulty of rebuilding the city, a $NZ 20 to 30 billion job. Before the December rumbles that caused more liquefaction, work was expected to get underway in late 2012 – though only if insurers return.
During the 2009 NZ general election the National Party campaigned on a pledge to reduce the wage gap with its giant neighbour. The Nationals (the NZ equivalent of Australia's Liberals) were successful at the polls – but not with their promise.
The minimum wage in NZ is $13 – that's equal to ten dollars in Australia where the minimum wage is more than AUD $15. However the reality is that in many areas of Australia people can't be coaxed into the workforce for anything under AUD $25.
In Australia there's a tax-free threshold on earnings of AUD $6000. In NZ workers – and pensioners – pay 12.5 per cent tax on the first dollar they receive.
There's another significant disparity. GST is 15 per cent in NZ (ten per cent in Australia) and there's no exclusion for fresh foods. NZ growth is 1.1 per cent, less than half Australia's 2.7.
Australians moving to NZ are struck by the impotence of trade unions. In most NZ industries workers are faced with individual workplace contracts and the chance of being sacked – no reason required – in their first 90 days on the job.
The NZ unemployment rate is 6.3 per cent, compared to 5.3 in Australia. The jobless burden is carried mainly by Maori and Pacific Islanders, particularly the unskilled. Meat works and timber mills, the traditional employers for the low skilled, have been closing across the country.
Some of these people are heading for Australia, particularly if relatives have already made the journey and established a base. Queensland is most favoured, taking 40 per cent. The climate is warm, there are plenty of jobs in the mining industry, and a flight to Auckland is a mite more than three hours.
Particularly worrying is the loss of medical and other professionals whose Kiwi qualifications are accepted in Australia. Kiwi locums have been offered NZ $6,000 a weekend to cross the Tasman to keep practices and hospitals open.
Meanwhile in Wellington the just re-elected National government is slashing the bureaucracy. During the campaign the public service union ran ads showing a map of Australia captioned: 'The only place where your skills will be wanted.'
Before the economic crisis of 2008 NZ welcomed thousands of Asian workers – mainly Filipinos – to fill jobs on farms and aged care homes. Now they're being sent back and bosses are being pushed to employ locals.
In the past skilled workers mainly came from the UK, though there's a growing movement of qualified Chinese to NZ, particularly Auckland. If the present trend continues by 2026 there'll be almost 800,000 Asians in NZ, challenging Maori as the country's second largest minority.
Of course there are upsides to life in NZ, a nation with about 4.4 million people and seven times that number of sheep. For those who hate Australia's long blistering summers NZ offers a splendid green haven. In Wellington anything over 22 degrees is considered a heat wave demanding a beach party.
For Ed Hillary types NZ is the ideal place to tramp, cycle, climb and ski all year round. Wags comment Kiwis have to stay outside – TV programmes are crass.
Because the islands are so narrow, warm waters or snowy summits are seldom more than a day's drive.
The purchasing power of the Aussie dollar means much seems cheap in NZ, including housing. Your AUD $750 will yield about NZ $1000. The smaller cities are compact and roads good. Freeways clog in Auckland, as they do in every Australian capital, but seldom elsewhere.
Australians seeking to escape searing heat, Americanised culture and gruelling drives should consider NZ. One million tried last year, but carried return tickets. Try staying and investing - your move might just help keep NZ from becoming the Ireland of the South Pacific.