Domestic violence: The way it was

But I did know. My Lifeline telephone counselling experience had wised me up. Whatever he might have said, his wife was on the floor when we arrived, while he wasn’t, and the kids had run to neighbours and told them dad was bashing Mum. At 10.00 PM on a school night, kids this age don’t normally do this.

I told the liar to wait there and went back in. Although I explained that I was prepared to arrest her husband if she was prepared to make a complaint the young woman refused. The kids were silent.

“OK.  Anywhere else you can stay tonight?”I asked Mum. Someone was leaving, and I did not as yet have sufficient grounds to lawfully arrest the bad guy. “You goin’ take me?  Got no money for cab fare. If you goin’ take us, there’s Aunty Mary’s over dere in West End. She’ll take us in. If you goin’ take us?” The woman’s face was suddenly hopeful. The boy tugged his Mum’s arm. “Yeah, Mum. Let’s go to Aunty’s.”

I told her I would drive her and her kids anywhere in Townsville where they would be safe.

Slowly Mum agreed, she nodded. “OK. Kids, get some things. Get your school clothes. We goin’ to Aunty Mary’s.”

At that the kids rushed and got pillows and blankets and Mum threw some things in a big plastic laundry basket. Nothing much, just a few clothes for the kids, some milk out of the fridge and a cheap purse.

The silent man on the verandah did not attempt to talk to his wife or kids as they filed by. As his family went down the steps ahead of me towards the cop car, behind them I let the offender have both barrels. “Next time I’ll pinch you for assault. No [BS]. Your feet won’t touch the ground. If I come back here again you’ll be coming with me. What kind of a man hits a woman? [Bleep] disgrace your kids have to get dragged out of their own beds this time of the night to have to go somewhere else to hide from their own Dad. What kind of a piss-weak [bleep] excuse for a dad are you, anyway?” 

The woman and kids waited at the cop car. They didn’t get in, just stood there waiting for me, unsure of M. I opened the back door of the blue-taxi and the kids jumped in and slid across the seat clutching their pillows. M appeared neither amused nor unamused. Stoic. It certainly was tough being a cop, this was what happened when they dumped a trainee on you. 

Because I am a mind-reader as well as a smartarse, I just knew M was thinking, ‘Hasn’t anyone told this guy the job’s not fair-dinkum?’

On the way to Aunty Mary’s I got some names and wrote up my notebook. We hadn’t even done a person check on the baddie, which I could have done if M had stayed with me, but at least I got the woman and her kids out and gave old mate a mouthful. Later I would handle all of this a lot better, but this was a start.

In my smart-arsed opinion, Queensland coppers now handle violence against women as well or maybe better than the best in the world. The Queensland Police Service has come a long way. Now domestic violence incidents involving violence or weapons receive a ‘code two’ designation, regardless of the ethnic background of those involved, and action is usually unhesitatingly taken against perpetrators.

We’ve come a long way, yes, but as a society we have further to travel. All of us men must say and mean it: “Us men must stop our violence against women.”

Want to help? Go to the White Ribbon website and swear a bit.