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The irreverent frog

By Walt Brasch - posted Tuesday, 23 November 2010


"I thought so!" I said, now writing furiously in my note pad.

"Frogs also have webbed feet. It's against the laws of God for ordained ministers to have webbed feet."

I stopped writing. "Let me get this straight. You don't want to ordain frogs because they're green and they have webbed feet?"

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"That's right. Webbed feet is not God's wish for humanity. Webbed feet is a sign of breaking with God's world of five-toed feet. It's a sign of wilful rebellion. It results from living in a sinful world."

"Shouldn't the Church recognise that even frogs have faith?" I asked.

"The Bible tells us to love all creatures, and that we are all part of the Lord. But, nowhere does it say that frogs should be ordained."

"But what about their knowledge of scripture or whether frogs have the ability to lead people? Shouldn't that count for something?"

"You think that frogs can lead people? Have you ever seen a frog walk? There's no one who's going to hop to church on Sunday mornings."

"But, most frogs seem to be so much more respectful and honest than many of your own parishioners," I pleaded in the frogs' defence.

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"I agree," said the minister, "and the ministry should offer models of integrity, morality, and honesty - if at all possible. And, I do admit that some ministers do stray from the paths of righteousness on occasion. But, at least they're not green, they don't have webbed feet, and they never smited anyone!" He thought a moment, and then suggested, "Maybe instead of trying to ruin the ministry, he could join the military. They have amphibious vehicles and a whole darn SEAL team."

"You know dang well the military doesn't allow frogs."

"Not my problem."

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About the Author

Walter Brasch is professor of journalism at Bloomsburg University. He is an award-winning syndicated columnist, and author of 16 books. Dr. Brasch's current books are Unacceptable: The Federal Government’s Response to Hurricane Katrina; Sex and the Single Beer Can: Probing the Media and American Culture; and Sinking the Ship of State: The Presidency of George W. Bush (Nov. 2007) You may contact him at brasch@bloomu.edu.

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