Straight from the heart

It would be quite an irony if, after all their tacky machinations, the ALP lost the election. It already is ironic that the polls now show that the honeymoon is well and truly over. It must have been the shortest in history, oh wait, there was that time Britney Spears married someone in Las Vegas by mistake, that was all over pretty quickly as I recall. That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas, as Katy Perry pointed out.

The gap between the major parties has now become closer to what it was under Rudd. These figures show as nothing else can that the removal of Kevin Rudd was all about the ALP, and nothing at all to do with the country, as Ms Gillard would have us believe. The country is beginning to rumble again that it’s the ALP it’s fed up with, no matter who they have for their leader.

Out of the two leaders I watched on Sunday, there’s no doubt which one seemed more human in the debate. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it was Tony Abbott. Yes, Julia Gillard’s extraordinarily accomplished political performance made Tony Abbott look human.

People in the know say both leaders have lively, interesting personalities. Glimmers of Abbott’s personality broke through during the debate. He couldn’t entirely subdue it. We saw nothing of Julia’s. She was able to completely repress herself.

This is probably what the election is going to come down to, given the paucity of real debate about real issues. Which leader the voters can most easily make a human identification with. Which one of them can convince us that they’re coming straight from the heart.

I want political competence in my prime minister. I want her or him to be able to hold their own nationally and internationally. I don’t want a political clod.

But neither do I want a political robot, superbly manufactured and highly trained, that gives me an unsurpassed political performance every time I turn on the television. I don’t want a replicant out of Blade Runner. I want an intelligent, thoughtful human being coming at me straight from the heart, even if he or she does have to consult their notes once in a while, and even if he or she occasionally says something daft.

Who is the “real” Julia Gillard? It would be handy to know that before she’s returned as PM. Save us having to go through the Kevin stuff all over again, though next time the ALP knocks off the country’s PM we won’t be half as shocked.

I think Tony Abbott just might pull this off. I won’t be voting for his party, I’m not yet that dazed and confused. But in the being human stakes, Tony is currently ahead.

Which in itself is a very interesting comment on the assumptions we make about gender.

Weary as I am of the apparently unending procession of hegemonic male genitalia across the world’s stages, gender is not enough to win or lose my vote. It will be a sad day for feminism if, desperate to have a woman holding the top job, we take whatever the ALP factions and non-elected interests throw at us, like they’re chucking a bone at a barking dog to shut it up for a while.

So, in the words of the raucous-voiced, big-haired ‘80’s pop icon Bonnie Tyler, here’s a message to the ALP:

Give it to me straight from the heart,
Tell me we can make another start,
You know I’ll never go, as long as I know,
You’re coming straight from the heart.